Monday, August 23, 2010

I'd Like to Keep My Ears Please (:

Okay, I have a complaint to make. Well, a couple, actually.

Number one, there's a giant house fly buzzing around in my room right now, and it's terribly distracting. Too bad my Astronomy professor isn't here to corner it and smack it against the wall; he had an eye for that sort of thing.

But that's not what I want to talk about today.

I went shopping for school clothes with my mom the other day, and because the mall in our town is garbage, we spent nearly three hours switching back and forth between two different stores trying to find a pair of jeans that would fit my "petite" body structure.

Which was difficult because 1) apparently every clothing store in my town expects its customers to be a six-foot-tall tree trunk, and thus only carries sizes to accommodate that, or 2) for some ridiculous reason, teenagers have decided that wearing those ultra-skinny jeans that glue themselves to your legs and cut your circulation off are "hip" and "trendy", and therefore should be the only style of jeans worth selling.

So, my mom and I are strolling through the mall, perusing the lovely merchandise at Anchor Blue and Rue 21, when we pass by Zumiez and my mom goes...

"Hey Kendra, want to look in there and see if there's anything you like?" (If you're imagining this being asked in an excited tone, you've got it completely wrong).

"But the only jeans they have there are skinny jeans, mom," I replied, shifting my weight to one leg and leaning my head back like a whiny ten-year-old. I really, really loathe shopping.

"Well, there might be some nice shoes or shirts you might want."

"... *eye roll*..."

Regardless of my resistance, we head over to Zumiez anyway, and the second we walk through the entrance, we're hit with this giant wave of unbearably loud death metal music, enough to make any sane person cover their ears and rush out of the store five seconds later.

And this is my problem. Why do all of the popular clothing stores have to play their music so excruciatingly loud. I realize that they're supposed to be "youth-oriented" and deafening headbanger music and shattered eardrums are evidently all the rage amongst teenagers today, but come on. You can't even hear yourself, let alone think straight because the music is just blasting away, pulsing through every freaking vein in your body.

I don't know about you, but I'd rather not have to listen to some disturbed musician screaming "DROWNING IN THE LAKE!!" while I'm trying to pick out some shoes or a decent pair of pants. Or an auto-tuned bimbo with an unhealthy glitter obsession (Ke$ha) singing "WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN' FEELIN' LIKE P-DIDDY!" when I'm deciding on whether or not to take advantage of the buy one get one half off sale on graphic t-shirts.

That does not make for a pleasant shopping experience.

I mean, I'm sure I could tolerate it if they played the music at, say, a few notches above the halfway mark rather than full blast!

It's probably a tactic the managers use to get people to buy more of their products. Like when annoyed parents are forced to shop with their kids, and they can't take the loudness of the music (I don't see how anyone could), and it puts them in such a frenzy that they just go "yeah, yeah, just get whatever, I don't care."

"But mom, it's 75 dollars! Are you sure?"

"Whatever, whatever, just get what you want so we can get the hell out of here!" (flicks hands dismissively while frantically wiping sweat from forehead.)

It's asinine, and really just makes me hate shopping even more than I already do. If you've never experienced this and would like to have a little sample of the ridiculousness of it, here is a wonderful interpretation.

1 comment:

  1. "you know what, i'm just gonna go shop at the GAP. . .Why did you decide at this very moment that it would be ok to turn off the music? i'm leaving the store. i don't get you people. . ."

    xD lol ever been in Hollister? ITS SO MUCH WORSE!!! because the store is like confined and claustraphobic and i think they have a setting that's like 20 notches louder than the max. . .haha